My Marathon

I've told a few people over the years about my marathon-Peace Corps analogy but now seems like a good time to share it again. I hope even non-runners can appreciate this and while I've never worn my name on my shirt for a race, I've seen what they go through. So here goes...

First, I'll talk about a marathon and what the average runner goes through in their first 26.2 mile road race. Before the race starts, you're milling around with nervous energy. You pee a lot, you question if you're wearing the right socks and underwear, and you compare yourself to everyone around you. But you know you picked the right shirt...the one you had made special with your name on it! Finally it's time to start and off you go. 

Miles 1-4 are great! You notice everything: the way the light hits the buildings, the fans and their signs, the smell of the city in the cool fall morning and it all seems rather magical. You feel like you can run forever. And it's great that everyone knows your name-that shirt was such a good idea!

Miles 5-13 are still good but not as crisp as those first few. You don't notice as much of your surroundings and the miles don't seem to be changing...was that mile 8 or 9 I just passed? But you reach mile 13 and realize you're half finished! You are congratulating yourself for finishing a half marathon and gloating that you're going beyond 13.1. You will be part of that elite group of marathon finishers. And people are still cheering your name. 

Around mile 14 you realize that while you are more than half finished, you still have a long way to go. You become consumed with thoughts of not finishing. People will still be impressed if I quit now, right? You spend the next few miles giving yourself a pep talk. And people are still cheering your name but it's more than a little annoying now. You just need a few minutes of peace to find the drive to keep going. 

Around mile 18, you are in need of some serious motivation. You think 18 miles is a long distance but 8 more seems out of the question. But you keep going. It's probably a good thing you've lost the ability to do basic arithmetic because you now spend whole miles trying remember which mile you just completed and your per mile pace. You consider removing your shirt so no one knows your name...seriously why do they keep cheering? Can't they see what I really want is an orange or a wheelchair??

But then you reach mile 20 and finishing seems possible and probable. You dig down deep and push yourself. You start to enjoy the race again because it's almost over. You're still wearing your favorite shirt but you know you will never, ever wear it again. And you must find that person that suggested putting your name on your shirt and give them a piece or your mind. 

Finally it's mile 25 and you look back at how far you've come and how much you've enjoyed the day. You start to forget about those times you wanted to quit (and you're really glad you didn't), and think about the sense of accomplishment you will have in one short mile. You're even happy you didn't throw away your shirt because hearing your name is giving you a kick to the finish. 

Then there it is...the 26 mile marker and you know this is it...all the sweat, pain, and probably a few tears, were completely worth it. You are feeling the tears coming again as you see the finish line in front of you and you wish more than anything that you could put this moment in slow motion to enjoy it just a little longer. But then it's over and you're congratulated and given your hardware and you go back to your normal life. Just like that, you think?! Sure, friends and family are really proud of you but how long can you talk about the race before they lose interest? You start thinking about your next race or competition and that gets you through the day but nothing will compete with the memories of your first marathon. 

So here I am at the mile 13 mark. I'm feeling pride for coming this far and a bit of nervousness that I still have equally long to go. I'm tired of my own name and even more tired of azungu (white person) being yelled from near and far no matter where I go. I've realized I still have many goals to reach and I just hope I have enough time. I know when I get to the end of this Peace Corps roller coaster I will be happy, sad, nervous, and ready for a new adventure. 

I've learned a few things about Peace Corps that I'll share. 
1. It's not always about putting numbers in a box; you feel accomplished when you say you've trained x number of people in a skill but you can't quantify the things you've learned about yourself and the way you've shared yourself with your host country. 
2. Peace Corps brings out the best in you and the worst in you. 
3. Peace Corps is a roller coaster and at times (good and bad) you'll feel like you're riding it alone. 
3. Someone told me not to go chasing the next big adventure. Very true but it's good to have a plan. 
4. Life is too short to be unhappy so decide if you need a change of attitude or a change of latitude. 

This update comes after a few weeks of feeling that halfway might be good enough. But just like half of a marathon, it isn't. The best is yet to come.